Of Innuendos...

When I was still in college, I came across this rather interesting word, "Innuendo". No, it's not just a local band. In law terms, it's specifically means a parenthetic explanation of a word or charge in a legal document. Don't know what I'm talking about? Refer www.dictionary.com
The Innuendo word in this blog's context means an insinuation.
Example?
Poody : PT, do you like pineapple tart?
PT: your apple tart? I've never eaten it before.
Go figure.

Example 2.
Some friends and I were having lunch in Jalan Batai yesterday, and talked of buying shuttles for our regular badminton sessions.
PT: We should ask Lous to help us buy more shuttles.
Me: But he never comes anymore!!
*Entire group burst out laughing*
?????

Example 3.
Still during lunch.
Nivla: I think I'm still hungry. Should I buy fruits or pisang goreng?
Rover: Pisang Goreng? That's gay food la, %&*#@^!
Note: I would include Nivla's picture of him eating his pisang goreng, but not without his permission. So maybe tomorrow.


Example 4.
Still during lunch. Yes, it was a long one.
PT starts picking out anchovies from his pan mee, and dumps them into the bowls of people on his left and right.
Nivla: Can I have your ikan bilis?
PT: Yes, you can have my ikan bilis.
*Silence*
*Entire group bursts out laughing*

Boy oh boy, we live in a world full of corrupted minds.

Friendster Cafe - the good ol' times

Spent Friday night at Friendster Cafe. Quite a good place to chill out, except it was pouring cats and dogs. The place reminds me of Perks Cafe in Friends, and also brought to life some years back in 1Utama, but somehow, it doesn't feel as cosy.
Like a bunch of small kids that night, we played Uno, Pictionary and sang the Birthday song to the next table as they were celebrating. Rekindled my faith in friendship somehow.
Not a good combination for kids. Can severely retardate your ability to identify the numbers on the cards.


Some people get the concept of the game wrong. To finish the cards, not to accumulate them la.


By far the most artistic piece in Pictionary.

Futsal Virgin - Devirginized

Forgot my camera =(
The only pictures I have of my futsal experience are these:

My poor shoes.

Gone. Sigh.

My poor leg.


My legs got lebam lebam all. My back is aching and my hamstring is gnawed.
Ok, I guess the experience was a pleasant one after all. I know I must sound like a sadist for first complaining about the pain, then saying it was a pleasant experience. Futsal at Sports Unlimited last night was both chaotic and comedic. The boys intended to teach the girls futsal and have fun watching them miss the ball. The girls intended to just kick the boys. And for the next two days, I will be reminded of the experience whenever I sit, stand up or even just move my legs. FuuuhHHhhhh...
*Fox, sorry I kicked you, so hard*

My attempt to bring Jason to the century-old Coliseum didn't quite work out. For those residing in KL and have not even an inkling of idea where or what the Coliseum is.... shy boh. It is probably one of the oldest (and first) restaurant in the City that serves Western food, and was the kind of place your folks would bring you to if you did well in your exams (you would also be in your 50s or 60s by now). Its mere ambience and decor is like a blast from the past that makes you imagine a scene similar to Back to The Future, where you visit your folks' old haunts. And food there, mind you, is fantalicious. So, anytime you run out of ideas to bring friends/ special ones, look it up. And put on those polkadot ties.

Picture taken from www.mymesra.com.my

*note: I'm running through some old photos I saw off a friend's Ofoto album, perhaps some interesting stuff might come out of there..... Hopefully it isn't a picture of me in a pinafore when I had green eyes.

THE Vinci Code

My first weekend as a blogger, and I didn't post any blog. Tsk tsk.
Friday night was a fiasco at GSC cinema for the Da Vinci Code crowd. For those who read the books, some were disappointed. For those who didn't, it was purely entertaining. For those who have no idea who Mary Magdalene is, they thought this is a documentary.
I read the book and loved the movie. I guess the idea is to have a willingness to separate book from movie. I'd dwelve further into this Code Debunking debate thing, but nolah, try to take it on the lighter side, you know? But here's something funny:

http://www.nst.com.my/Current_News/nst/Thursday/Columns/20060504075213/Article/index_html

Linguists call for ‘Da Vinci Code’ ban
THE Malaysian Linguistic Association (Malas) has echoed calls by other parties to ban the controversial movie The Da Vinci Code.The film is an adaptation of a best-selling novel that deals with some aspects of the Christian faith. But the objection by Malas has nothing to do with theology because "we don’t even know who Theo is", says its president Ambi Mohan.The association’s chief objection is, instead, linguistic. "For too long we have sat by and allowed language to be polluted but we have decided that enough’s enough. The Da Vinci Code should be banned because we don’t want to encourage youngsters to use ‘da’ as a lazy shorthand for ‘the’."We see this in rap lyrics," he claims. "All this talk about ‘hanging out with da hoes’. You should be hanging out with THE hoes. This sort of begs the question of why someone would want to ‘hang out’ with gardening implements to begin with, but I am not here to question lifestyle choices, merely spelling, grammar and semantics."He said the association might reconsider its protests if the filmmakers changed its name to The The Vinci Code. "But even this is problematic because having two ‘thes’ in a row look ugly. So the film should be called The Vinci Code."The film’s producers could not be reached for comment. Amir Muhammad’s documentary 'Lelaki Komunis Terakhir' will hit selected cinemas from May 18.

Boy oh boy.

Over dinner and then bowling last weekend, I found myself wondering why is it that I hang out with people I call my friends. Have we gone so accustomed to each other that we're all infused into each other's lives as something that just....exists there? I suppose friendship is like a dating relationship; you get to know each other, enjoy each other's company, hang out till the sun dries you up, then take each other for granted.

Well well, all things said and done, Friends are for:

1. Hugging

2. Kissing

3. Laughing at you when you're pissed drunk:

If you don't have friends, how are you going to:

1. Have frolics in the sun/water

2. Have a good view of your butt while you're up there:

3. Have 10 bridesmaids at your wedding =)

Note: My status as a futsal virgin will be "debunked" tonight.

Pre-Maturing Syndrome

Yeap, you heard me.
Most of my good friends are guys. I'm not the type to have a flock of boys round the hem of my skirt doing everything I ask them to, but I'm more the type the guys think I'm a guy. That's cool too, kids.
This is very stereotypical, so don't bitch-slap me if you think I wronged you. Just that the majority of the male gender around me really aren't so convincing. Really now, how many times have you heard men/boys using PMS as an excuse as to why their girlfriends are angry? The truth is, you cheesed us off not because we are having PMS and you are some poor little scape goat. It's because you don't understand. True, PMS does make us moody, but really now, it's your ignorance and neanderthalist thoughts that make us want to strangle you. Really wan.
I guess you can after all blame it on PMS. Not ours, but yours.
Here's your checklist on how not to have Pre-Maturing Syndrome:
1. Quit staring at my boobs when you talk to me
2. You like football, fine. Go watch it. At home, not at mine.
3. You can complain all you want about what shit they're giving you at work, but if you don't work hard to change that, you just pull your ears and sit quietly in a corner forever k.
4. Contrary to YOUR popular belief, the rest of the world are NOT trying to get at you. You don't need some ultra high-tech sophisticated system to protect intruders in your home via the front door, back door, slide door, long kang, ventilators, etc. Just get ONE alarm system and get it over with.
5. Aim when you piss.
6. If buying a plasma TV is strictly for football only, buy a cannon and propel yourself to Germany. Do it soon before World Cup starts.
7. Don't ever try to touch my ass in the lift again. I'll kick your family heirloom so hard that you can picture it's being yanked off by a camel.
8. Burping out aloud is not cool, and neither are burping competitions. Imagine your girlfriend and her girlfriends doing that to you.

I can go on and on and on, but I guess some of you will never learn.

But for now, I've to go back to work for a chauvinist.

Lost in the City, Long for the Sea

I need a holiday la. I badly need a holiday. After this morning's confusion with street names in OUG, I feel like I need to break free. What happened was this; it was supposed to be a very easy task. I was supposed to collect a cheque from a company located in OUG along Jalan Hujan Rahmat.

First we have to find OUG. Obviously Under Ground. Oblique, Unidentified Garden. Ahhh, screw it; ask around. Found out that it stands for Overseas Union Garden (what the hell is that supposed to mean anyway). So like a happy little camper, I steered my little blue car there, in the rain (raining, Jalan Hujan, how ironic is that).... I ended up in Jalan Awan. Who named this place??!!?? Mah lousssSSs... Using my common sense, I didn't take too long to look for the place *hmm lemme see... Jalan Awan is in a square with all the Jalan Awans 1,2,..3752, so Jalan Hujan must be in a square with all the other types of Hujans*

Now back to the office. Old Klang Road was jammed (I didn't know this part used to be Klang, it's so far away from the new Klang? Why else would anyone name Klang Road faraway from Klang?) Oh wait, I take that back, I once got lost and found Jalan Lumut and Jalan Pangkor right next to each other, RIGHT HERE IN THE MIDDLE OF TOWN!

...And the Federal Highway was flooded too, causing many motorists to stop and admire the water, and me taking an hour to get back to my office.

So I need a holiday. I long for the Redang wind, the sound of waves, and sand in my pants. Perhaps I really should go somewhere else for a change, having been there for about 4 times. Sigh, go what lah go, your two piece can still fit or not? Better go for a crash diet, otherwise it'd be like the DHL elephant on vacation.

Time to hit the gym.

Doggone it...!!

I went to Ikano over the weekend to the Pet Safari. Again. To see the Siberian Husky puppy. Again. She looked so gorgeous it was like the epitome of perfection. I whispered to her that I'd bring her home if she didn't cost a bomb. A friend who saw the same puppy nicknames it LapTop, saying for RM3588 you can already buy a LapTop. But back to the place, it was swarming with animal lovers, or people who got the wrong directions to the zoo. People were gaping with their mouths wide open at the little puppies on display (I say this in disgust... how'd you like it if your babies were caged in a glass box for all to see?) Shih Tzus, Beagles, Labradors... oh the cute lot.
But don't get me wrong, I'm no animals rightist who parades naked in the street against Paris Hilton or JLo wearing some skunk on their shoulders. I am a dog lover, I hate cats, I can bear with rabbits and tortoises, I scream at the sight of snakes and frogs, and I absolutely detest fish (I'd talk about my fish phobia, but perhaps some other time). Why else would I have gone there in the first place? It would have made more sense had my sister been around and I needed a cage for her... I was there to shop around for little things for my dog. *makes mental note to bring her there some time, how come only pedigree dogs go there and get all the attention?*
When I got home, I was greeted by my ever loyal dog, Joey. Her short little tail wags with glee, and her ears perk up whenever she sees me. As I stared at her, vivid images of that cute little Siberian Husky started flashing through my mind. Ok, so Joey's not THAT cute. So she's not even pedigree, big deal.

But my dog is one cute mongrel okay... she can do all sit-jump-hand-heel tricks, and she's much smarter and livelier than that dumbass chow-chow (smelly smelly) next door who gives muffled barks throughout the night, doesn't do any tricks, and spends most of his life sprawled on the floor playing dead. Oh wait, maybe he really IS dead... all those nights his barking kept my mom awake has finally taken a toll on her, she bought some arsenic.....
Note: *It's not fair what, how come people call mongrels "pariah" and all, but when they see a caucasian, they go like "aiyoh, he mixed you know"... same same what

Sis: That picture I owe you about Joey's new house:

Michelle Wie - I salute you!

What is it with Golf?
Jason thought it was about time I bring out my golf gloves again. Sheesh, that made me sound like a pro. The truth is, some months back, I decided to try it out, and be a real Jack of all trades, master of none. Perhaps it was going to be something I can possibly do alright in, since it doesn't involve a lot of stamina to run around a football field, nor will it get my arms and wrists all sore from whacking that volleyball.
Truth is, it's much harder than it looks. Ball, club, club the ball. *EhhhTtTT* Wrong! You have to keep your feet wide apart, straighten your left arm, tilt forward, eyes on the ball, all that kinda thing. I only managed to send a ball flying up and straight on my third time at the driving range. That's about after a hundred balls crawling pathetically out of my reach to pick it up and give it a good smacking. Well, well, with my tremendous progress, I can hit the golf course in only about 10 years!
I don't know why I stopped going to the driving range. It was probably side-stepped by other more worrying events like friends' weddings, birthdays and the official opening of a new blouse. BUT last night, I was adamant about getting it right. To start it all off, I forgot my gloves, so we had to head back to get my gloves. Jason must have thought I'm trying to buy time. For the first time in my lengthy golf career, I almost swung the golf club into the air and had it flying further than any of the balls I hit. Almost. But no, I didn't do it Ernie's way. It would have been funny. Today's headlines would probably have read, "Man killed by stray golf club" or "Man killed by stray woman" or "Cars damaged in shopping complex by rogue golfer-no balls found"...and next thing you know, they'll ban all golfers from wearing any gloves so that killers can be identified via finger print.
I did manage to get a few good shots. About 6 out of 50 balls, I think. Hey, maybe if I go again in 6 months' time, I might improve. Bleah.

Since I am so new to the blogging scene, I excitedly told my sister about my blog. And Voila! ...she says "I've got one too, and your pics are all over it" Hey, don't come back to Malaysia so soon k... you can check out her blog on the link on the right of this page.

CRM - Customer Really Mad

This has got to be serious. I'm having a really bad Monday. Lunch hour is not even over yet, and I've been steered from the clockwork of my life to plunge into starting a blog, thanks to a friend. My, you'd think I'm contemplating jumping off a cliff meh?
Monday, May 15, 2006. After that long weekend off, I psyched myself up that this was going to be a great week... *pump up the enthusiasm* and that I would somehow love my job. 8.45am and that dream pummelled back down to reality. The bland light from the screen, phones rhythming all around, the sounds of car engines revving up the street eight floors below (Jalan Sultan Ismail, mind you)..... I want to sink into oblivion.
Now leh? 2.24pm, some Zinger burger paper on my desk, and a whole lot of Mandarin speaking IT department speaking gibberish (ok, so it's not gibberish, just that I don't understand..) So... here I am, venting my frustration into words, in hopes that I don't turn into a psychopath who stalks metrosexuals with bad hair cuts and ugly ties.
As for WHAT I'm frustrated over today, it's got to be on the receiving end of customer service. No, not receive customer service, but to give customer service. I admit to being a picky customer, and I demand for what I ought to get. I hate people in the service industry who are rude and I cannot tolerate slow service. But all this happens AFTER paying the money. I cannot comprehend therefore, this diversity of expectations when it comes to getting what you paid for.
I don't want to sound like a waitress who plunks your dinner plate on your table with your chicken wings doing a nose dive, your salads doing the La Bamba and gravy making a juicy landing on your pants, but seriously now, for a minimal amount of investment, don't expect me to give you the sky la.
So, in silver lining I offered my products, with something FREE on top of what she paid for, and allowed her to do half-payment first, which is completely unconventional. To top if all off, her investment seemed to be doing well. Well, not according to her, and with THAT kind of returns, how is she going to convince her management to keep on using our services? Oi, lady, your money very big ah? If you can't live with the risks of investing in something that may go up or down, go buy an island and make it your own country with those big money of yours la.
One of these days, when my brain snaps from being pushed up the wall once too often, I'll run off to the forests, do some little witch dance round a fire, collect little twigs and tie them up to make a voodoo doll, put your name on it, and start poking stakes down your throat. So don't piss me off.