Living with what you chose

For the last couple of weeks (or was it months?) now, I've been told all varieties of love-gone-wrong stories, some with good endings, some with bad, and some with none. It's always easy to draw conclusions when you are outside of the story, but it is also easy to believe just one side of the story.


I guess sometimes when we bother to take a step back, we would realize the absurdity of our actions, our words, and even the sordid existence of our relationships.


There was the story of the guy who was separated from his girlfriend because of distance. After a series of her engagement to someone else, and the breaking up thereafter, she comes crying back to him.


Then there was the girl who waited for the guy to come clean with his girlfriend. Much 'timing' excuses and emotional struggles later, she decides to walk away. And he comes back.


There was the girl who couldn't make up her mind if she wanted to stay with her boyfriend who just got back, or the guy whom she was seeing behind his back. After she broke off with boyfriend, the guy walks away.


Whether there was a right or a wrong, whether there was a gain or a lost, we all came out different from the person we were before. And when broken hearts heal, we would have long forgotten what it felt like to be left alone, sacrificed or given up on, only to have it happen all over again.



Everytime I hear someone else's sad story, I instinctively draw myself back to my wounded past. Of tearful nights, of unfruitful labour, of abandonment, of betrayal and worst of all, of eternal uncertainty.



I have made the choice to leave it all behind, close the chapter and forever walk away from the darkest moments of my life. And I pray that those whose stories I heard, will soon gather the courage to do so too.



It's been more than 3 years now, and as we witness yet another close friend's nuptials, I can't help but to smile, for I am far, far away from the sorrows that pounded on the walls of my heart.